


hnm oneshots oowoo <3333

by rueroo



Category: heartsnotmemes
Genre: Bleeding ears, Clingy, F/F, Gen, Strangling, Swearing, can be read as platonic, crackfic, needy, rock throwing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:49:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29111850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rueroo/pseuds/rueroo
Summary: snowpee is bored as shit
Relationships: kristina/noémie, marli/mddey, tina & litle muffin, tina/little muffin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 1





	1. tuffin oneshot

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so sorry little muffin and tina this is all a joke i swear to god

tina's phone vibrated for perhaps the millionth time that night, as little muffin insistently pestered her to video call her

i'm trying to finish chem homework here leave me alone, tina typed into the chatbox, hoping little muffin would get the memo and leave her the fuck alone.

unfortunately, the message was only met with another series of vibrations, and tina let out an audible groan of annoyance. it's true, she was catching up on homework, the god awful chemistry teacher wouldn't give the students a break and she was stressed out. very stressed out.

so she kept her head down, pushed the phone to the side of the table and went back to doing chemistry homeeeork. brain damage

If you keep ignoring me I'll show up to your house!! Just you wait. >:(, little muffin had said five minutes prior. tina hadn't thought much of it, until the window to her room shattered all of a sudden hhaha what thE FUCK

a single rock landed with a thud on the floor, and tina's mind raced a mile a minute, trying to process how the hell, what the hell just happened two seconds ago?????????

tina crouched in the recesses of her room, keeping her head out the window's scope, so as to avoid getting hit by another flying rock. also according to common sense, rocks do not fly in through your window at four fucking am randomly. it just doesn't happen.

and while she was still taking her sweet time to overthink, somebody shouted from outside, "TINA! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!"

tina went completely still, mind frozen in shock. how'd they know her name?? why did they sound a lot like little muffin??? maaaan it must be her nighttime delusions getting to her hahahahah

and then she did something very stupid. she stood up, poked her face out of the splintered hole in the glass and bellowed, "HELLO THERE KIND STRANGER! WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE ON THIS FINE NIGHT?" 

huh. maybe she'd spent too much time analyzing william shakespeare's poems.

there was a blur of black and brown, the quiet rustling of footsteps and tina felt herself being enveloped in a hug.

"tinaaaaa!! i've been wanting to meet you for so long! also your hair smells nice what conditioner do you use" little muffin said. wait little muffin what???? where huh did you book a plane ticket and fly here in five minutes what is it because of your psychic powers whAt??

"why did you pull out of the goddamn window like that man. i scraped my wrist on the side of the window and also i have a broken neck now are you gonna call an ambulance or something" tina mumbled.

"i do not give a shit! :D" little muffin smiled brightly. "now i am going to kidnap you and bring you home so the school will think you're dead and i can see you every day :DDD best friends forever :DDDDD"  
tina did not object as school was indeed killing her, and so was this goddamn broken bone in her neck

stockholm syndrome


	2. marddey oneshot :D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i hate myself so much for this

marli's forehead was beaded with sweat. the sword they gripped tightly felt like it could slip out of their grasp any second now, and plummet down to its sandy demise.

right. the sand pit.

they were in a game of woolwars right now, and there were only two people left alive, one of them being marli, and the other being,,

they glanced at the tab list.

mddey. their dear friend from heartsnotmemes, and also a fucking gOD at woolwars. deep down they knows they don't stand a chance, but this was the closest they'd ever gotten to winning.  
i'm sorry marli can we just pretend that you absolutely suck at woolwars

besides, they wanted to put up a worthy fight before they went down. would be a shame if they just y'know, slipped on a ledge and fell into the sandstone hahah

marli was far too busy being a nervous arse that they didn't notice a boy clad in an orange and black hoodie creep up behind them

"HI MARLI UWU" he bellowed, and marli barely managed to keep their balance as their eardrums got DEMOLISHED

"hello let's team :o" mddey beamed, sheathing his sword and somehow shifting in front of marli?? this is minecraft this definitely makes sense

marli, with their hands still covering their ringing ears, contemplated their life decisions for a few seconds. for one, if they actually agreed to team with mddey, maybe they could manage to betray him last second and snag the win. but hmmmm,, 

"okay!"marli smiled back, as they pushed down a twinge of guilt in their stomach.

mddey, who's still smiling for some reason- bro don't your cheeks start hurting at some point??  
grabbed marli by the hair and tugged them away from the edge. 

"ouch- what the FUCK!" marli yelped in pain. disclaimer: children please don't pull people by the hair btw this is a very bad example and please don't swear either or mddey will murder you in your sleep

"LANGUAGE!!" mddey screamed, and marli's ears started bleeding for real this time.  
"oh no!" mddey said, and then he pulled out a box of bandages in a panic and slapped all of them onto marli's ears. doesn't really help but i guess it works  
ok mddey

they both sat there for a few minutes in silence, waiting for marli's ears to stop bleeding so they can get going.

"uh." marli said.  
"um." mddey said.  
how romantic 

suddenly, a server moderator materialized out of thin air and shrieked, "CROSSTEAMING IS NOT ALLOWED ON MUNCHYMC! THIS IS ILLEGAL!"  
marli's ears proceeded to fucking explode and then everyone and everything was washed out of existence

what the fuck marli


End file.
